Things I like
Just a couple days ago, I 100%ed DDLC+. It's prompted some self-reflection, and I thought I'd write down some things I like. When I was younger, this wouldn't have even occurred to me to write about. But idk, as I think about it, I'm finding that every time I realize I like something, it's a new and refreshing feeling of learning more about myself. Kinda odd, huh? Feels like I should already know them by now, but I guess I didn't. If IU's song lyrics are anything to go by, there will be at least a few more years of this. In many ways, I'm looking forward to them.
I like sunsets. I know there's already another post about it, but I still like em. Not so much the sun setting itself, but the way the sky changes to a beautiful orange purple, and how it lights the clouds on the opposite side to a flowing pink glow.
I like the way the wind feels riding my bicycle, and how the air smells in my campus in the spring/summer. It's a little grassy, a little like water, and it's how I imagine bright sunlight hitting summer memories would smell like. It reminds me of when I first moved here. Not that that was a particularly fun time, but it's still nostalgic for some reason. You know, I think I really like nostalgic smells in general. I have so many of them from all the places I've been, and it's really rare I get one from a far away place.
What even is my favorite color? I don't think I know anymore. My childhood answer (which is still at least partially true) was that it was orange. Orange is a good color. But I also like the depth of blue, or the bright happiness of pastel. Shouldn't I know this? Well, I have plenty of time to figure it out.
I like exploring new things. It could be a new place, a new experience, a new skill, whatever. I don't know exactly what it is, but trying/learning new things just makes me go yes! Which is ironic, since one of the things I dislike the most is when thing change unexpectedly on me. I guess I like control of the new aspects of my life then. Fair enough. Haha, when stuff like this happens, when I feel something personally that I already knew in my head applied generally to all people, it's a little weird. Is this what it's like to get older?
I like feeling things. In so much of my daily/weekly life, I'm so busy working, studying, preparing. It feels like I have to spend most of my time being productive, using all of my time pragmatically. Time's like a resource, and I'm investing all of it into the future. I barely have enough time to get everything done and relax over the weekend for the next week. It really doesn't leave much time to feel things. But playing through DDLC (and the side stories) this spring break reminded me why I like this game and why I loved Omori. I love good story telling that conveys real emotions. Obviously, there's not much fun to be had in real life sadness or stress. I know that well enough. But reading playing through these games bring me through a story that feels significant, and I can feel sad. Sometimes after finishing the game I would be in bed going to sleep, and I would be thinking about the characters, their stories, and really diving headfirst into the emotions of the story. Is that weird? haha, I hope not. I don't think doing it is inherently exciting or fun, but it simply makes me feel alive to be sad. And that's nice in a different way. Of course, since it's just a fictional story, its sad but its not stressing. The story has a conclusion, and I have no control over how it unfolds. If it was real life, I would be trying to find ways improve my situation, and being as pragmatic as possible to keep the looming stress at bay. But I don't have to do that here, and I like that. I can just be sad.
That would be an awkward sentence to end on, so how about this: You know, I used to really like reading. I would read a ton. Back in middle school, I would always have a book on me, and at almost every free moment, I would be reading it, whisked away in another world. But high school and college got so busy, and the endless content streams on my phone so effective that I haven't really read a good story in a while. I think that's a little unfortunate.